This list was a little easier than the one about movies that should die. The only tough part here was trimming it down to ten. One major difference between the two lists is that I am going to step up and list my favorites in order of preference. Any time I am writing something like this I use a simple “would I rather” system; as in, “Would I rather watch Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie or Citizen Kane?” Obviously, GPK moves further up the list…
J. J. Abrams again shows himself to be a master storyteller who has one hell of a story to tell. He made a movie that is gripping, insightful, imaginative, and compelling. He makes us form opinions about the characters and to WANT things to go one way or the other. Watching this film is not a passive experience. Abrams made this into something that sucks viewers in and makes them want to KNOW what happens next. . .
While HANCOCK might not sound like a superhero name, you quickly get used to it. The primary thing the movie has going for it (beyond Charlize Theron) is that it’s a little different. It’s not “different” in the bizarre or surreal way that movie snobs require when you use the word, but it’s definitely different from most movies of the genre…
I have a wretchedly boring job that occurs in twelve hour shifts, so I am somewhat prolific against my will. I want to entertain, but my main motivation is making time go by. This means that there is not much of an editorial process between my brain and my fingers. What you read is pretty much how the thought occurred to me. My facts may not always be right and my tone certainly may not always be nice, but I think it is more fun for everybody if you get honest, unfiltered me. Except, of course, for the fact that I write from under a mask and a silly pseudonym…
This movie has one thing going for it right off the bat. Remember how just the title of Snakes On A Plane made people decide whether or not they wanted to see it? Same thing here. Don’t like zombies? You’re on the wrong website. Don’t like strippers? Hey, I support single moms. Do you see? If you actually decide to watch the movie, you already know that you will at least like the IDEA of the movie…
The For the Retarded Podcast is back, baby! In this first episode in nearly three years, hosts Gnoll and TB discuss a wide variety of topics. Plus, we bring back the For the Retarded Haiku Corner, debut the Ninety Second Nutshell, and discuss the possibility of the future of For the Retarded Radio! It’s 62 minutes of aural ecstasy…
There are few vehicles from the Star Wars universe that are more iconic than the TIE Fighter. Sure, the Millennium Falcon may get the most love, and Rebel ships like the X-Wing are up there in popularity too, but nothing else really is really more identifiable more than those sleek, compact little bastards that swarmed our heroes in countless space battles from the original Star Wars Trilogy…
Keep in mind that I don’t know nothin’ about nothin’, but the rumor mill has it that these pursuits would include new Watchmen media up to and including prequel comics, sequel comics, new animation (likely under DC’s excellent straight-to-DVD production banner), novels, toys, stuffed animals, video games and a line of Underoos. I might have made some of those up…
I fucking hate downtown Atlanta. It’s dirty and gross and you run into all sorts of mean, rude fucking assholes down there. The traffic is terrible and the roads don’t make any fucking sense. Plus, you’re about fifty times more likely to get mugged and raped by a transvestite crack whore than you are anywhere outside of the perimeter…
It’s been several years since I’ve done one of these things. In this site’s former life as Movie Criticism for the Retarded, this was an annual event for a while, but this is the first time in three years that I’ve churned out my (usually wildly incorrect) predictions of how the Oscars will pan out this year…
Feigning credibility by pretending your film and idea is real does not work. People such as Whitley Strieber and Richard Hoagland may echo my sentiment when I beg you to stop pretending your great spooky idea may be based on real events. There is a genre called science fiction and horror for a reason. The operative word there is fiction. Just because you shoot something in first person doc style with a handheld and infrared does not warrant true story…
What I’m trying to say here is if you liked any or all of the above but thought they’d be a lot better if they had a billion percent more gore, full-frontal nudity and use of the words “fuck”, “cock” and even the dreaded “c-word that shall not be named” then you should stop reading this right now and order STARZ…
First, let me acknowledge how amazing The Dark Knight was. It was amazing. Heath Ledger wasn’t overhyped, he was actually that amazing. Amazingly, Gary Oldman wasn’t underutilized this time around. Christian Bale, even with all the hoarse whispering, is still the best Batman evar. The script (and its execution) was sophisticated. Amazing as it was though, it’s not the best superhero movie ever…
I originally posted this earlier last year, right around the time it happened. We were specifically told not to post anything online about the experience. I kept everything nice and vague and posted it here. Now, at last, the truth can be told in its entirety. I was an extra in Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2. I don’t even know if I’ll be in the final cut or not, but here’s what went down…
Since the relaunch of this site involves somewhat of a Pac-Man motif, I thought it only fitting that the first new article since the relaunch involve everyone’s favorite pixellated dot-muncher himself. Now, just about everyone in the world is familiar enough with Pac-Man, but those who weren’t around between 1980 and 1984 don’t understand just exactly how ubiquitous this cheese-wedge-looking motherchomper was during his formative years…
So by now, you’ve probably seen Avatar. If you haven’t, you know someone who has. Chances are, that person has told you either how blown away they were by the movie or how bad they thought it was. You probably haven’t heard from many people who said something along the lines of “yeah, it was okay”, because that’s just not the kind of movie this is. It will leave an impression on you, regardless of how apathetic you are…