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[7 Apr 2015 | 2 Comments | ]
The Ten Best GoBots Ever Produced!

When I decided to write my defense of The Gobots a few weeks back, I wasn’t expecting to bring back so many fond memories for myself. In fact, I started putting together a list in my head of which of those toys oft-perceived as Transformers knockoffs that could convince even the most jaded toy fan that the GoBots had plenty to offer.
So, without any ado, I present to you the official Dork Droppings list of the best GoBots ever produced!
10. Small Foot

Small Foot just barely beat out Night Ranger …

Top Tens »

[29 Oct 2010 | 4 Comments | ]
The Top Ten Worst “Sexy” Halloween Costume Variants

s it’s almost Halloween, I’m sure you’re planning on getting dressed up in your favorite costume and hitting some festivities this weekend. If so, you’re probably anticipating the ever-poular trend of young ladies using the holiday as an excuse to bare as much flesh as possible…

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[2 Jul 2010 | 2 Comments | ]
Top <strike>Ten</strike> <i>Thirteen</i> Movies To Enjoy on Independence Day

These aren’t necessarily movies about patriotism or America’s greatness, they’re just movies that I think are specifically appropriate to this weekend. Movies that, while you’re watching them, will inspire you to say, “America… fuck, yeah!”…

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[11 May 2010 | 4 Comments | ]
The Top Ten Junk Shots in Cinema History

Is this gay? Maybe a little, but somehow TB and I stumbled across the concept during a phone conversation about Skype. It seemed really funny at the time, and what with the king of dick jokes being kicked off a plane for his unseemly girth I thought it a timely topic. Okay, maybe that’s a stretch. Regardless, here’s your penises…

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[15 Apr 2010 | No Comment | ]
Doctor Who’s Greatest Hits

I was going to write a history of Doctor Who, but Wikipedia has a done a perfectly good job of that already. After abandoning that idea, I started a piece about why I loved the show so much. I got a couple of paragraphs in and realized my posts throughout the week would pretty much cover that.

So today I bring you, The Retarded, a list of the ten very best episodes of Doctor Who; with a special treat at the end for those who make it. It ain’t Jelly Babies, but it’s something.

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[2 Apr 2010 | No Comment | ]
The Top 10 Biggest Disco Cash-ins by Rock Musicians

If you’re not aware of it, by 1979, there was so much disco on pop radio that you could probably count the number of non-disco songs on one hand that hit the number one spot. And during those formative years for the disco genre, many established musicians decided to cash in with disco tunes of their own…

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[27 Mar 2010 | 2 Comments | ]
The Best and Worst Celebrity Guests in WrestleMania History

Celebrities have been a tradition for a quarter of a century at WrestleMania. Sometimes the results of the celebrity appearance turn out a little better than others. Here’s a list of the best and worst WrestleMania celebrities…

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[23 Mar 2010 | 6 Comments | ]
Top Ten Movies Featuring Wrestlers

You’ll notice this isn’t “Top Ten Movies Starring Wrestlers”. If it was, the list would be a bunch of Rock movies and They Live. Flicks with wrestlers above the title don’t tend to be all that great – No Holds Barred, anybody? No? How about Sting’s movie? Did anybody even see that one…

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[26 Feb 2010 | No Comment | ]
My Ten Best Movies

This list was a little easier than the one about movies that should die. The only tough part here was trimming it down to ten. One major difference between the two lists is that I am going to step up and list my favorites in order of preference. Any time I am writing something like this I use a simple “would I rather” system; as in, “Would I rather watch Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie or Citizen Kane?” Obviously, GPK moves further up the list…

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[19 Feb 2010 | 4 Comments | ]
Ten Movies That Should Die

I have a wretchedly boring job that occurs in twelve hour shifts, so I am somewhat prolific against my will. I want to entertain, but my main motivation is making time go by. This means that there is not much of an editorial process between my brain and my fingers. What you read is pretty much how the thought occurred to me. My facts may not always be right and my tone certainly may not always be nice, but I think it is more fun for everybody if you get honest, unfiltered me. Except, of course, for the fact that I write from under a mask and a silly pseudonym…