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I haven’t written a movie review in ages. This site used to be primarily comprised of movie reviews, but evolution was inevitable and I branched out to the point that I hardly ever wrote actual reviews of movies, leaving that to some of the other intrepid authors here. But I actually was god-damned excited to see Avengers: Age of Ultron this week. And I was even more god-damned excited to talk about it.
I’m going to get this out of the way first: Age of Ultron is awesome. And if you …
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What a selection we have in movies today! There’s Avatar, Chipmunks: The Squeaquel, SEVEN Saw films, and Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill have still not gone away. There is so much pathetic shit being peddled in theaters that it’s almost disturbingly pleasurable to see a movie that just tells a story. . .
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In the end, it serves to remind a person that though director Ivan Reitman is responsible for Stripes and Ghostbusters, his last directorial venture was My Super Ex-Girlfriend. In the end, it’s just another romantic comedy that mainly consists of Natalie Portman telling dick jokes.
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It IS fun. Waching The Rock and Vin beating bloody hell out of each other is fun. Seeing a “car chase” at the end is fun. Looking at Jordana Brewster is fun. Laughing at Paul Walker’s acting ability until I realize how much more money he makes than I do. . . not so much.
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For those others, though. . . for those who grew up referring to their Frisbees as “my identity disc,” for those who still look at Ducatis and think “How would that look with a frame around it,” for those who have wondered too many times about the physics of converting mass into electrons and sucking a person into a computer. . . THIS IS FOR YOU.
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Okay, it was opening weekend for the biggest golden goose Hollywood has ever seen. Much as it galls some folks to admit, the premiere weekend for the last (kind of) Harry Potter flick ranks right up there with Star Wars for hype and anticipation…
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Sylvester Stallone deserves another Oscar, this one for Making The Film That Needed To Be Made. Just as Kill Bill was made for we comic book geeks who like samurai films and westerns, The Expendables is the film for those of us who love action movies. It’s not perfect. It’s not revolutionary. It’s just that the idea of this film is exactly what our summer movie season needed…
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If you want a romance with action, get the Princess Bride or Stardust. If you want werewolves versus vampires, get one of the Underworld films. If you want to see a dead Robert Pattinson, see Harry Potter. On the other hand, if you want a childishly-done cinematic farce that plays to the basest of teenaged girl emotions without one iota of real storytelling to back it up. . .
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Today we are inundated with remakes, sequels and attempts to draw on the creative efforts of previous generations. To make a film out of something as iconic as the A-Team could just as soon bite you on the ass as endear you to fans…
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Short version? Great movie. Tired plot. Excellent storytelling. Awesome soundtrack. Cool effects. Twinkie love and Bill Murray. Atlanta natives join the ranks of the undead. Sweet…
