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Zombie Strippers (2008)

17 February 2010 by Baldy No Comment


2008, dir. Jay Lee
94 min., Rated R.
Starring: Jenna Jameson, Robert Englund, Roxy Saint, Penny Drake

Review by Baldy


This movie has one thing going for it right off the bat. Remember how just the title of Snakes On A Plane made people decide whether or not they wanted to see it? Same thing here. Don’t like zombies? You’re on the wrong website. Don’t like strippers? Hey, I support single moms. Do you see? If you actually decide to watch the movie, you already know that you will at least like the IDEA of the movie.

After that, it’s all just details.

“You have to be a warrior. A soldier. Fearless. Uninhibited. A stripper with a take-no-prisoners, raw, survival instinct.” – Kat

I love deliberately bad movies. A good example of this tendency would be my deep appreciation of Bill Maher’s magnum opus, Cannibal Women In the Avocado Jungle of Death. Again, the title just pulls you in, doesn’t it? I love those movies because they are made specifically for people JUST LIKE ME (it’s circular logic, I know).

It’s made even better when you KNOW that the filmmakers are smarter than the average bear. In this one, in the midst of death and cannibalism and strippers, the characters still have time to discuss the thoughts of Plato, Camus and Descartes.

“I remember once lying in the snow under a clear blanket of stars, there were so many stars… You couldn’t comprehend what it was like. That vast un-knowable void. But now I understand it. I feel I’m a part of it, that infinite nothingness… I wanna strip. Who’s on? Fuck it, I’m gonna dance.” -Lillith

Here’s the skinny. There is a secret government laboratory (isn’t there always) that has devised a way to re-animate soldiers as soon as they die, bringing them back from the dead as even more effective soldiers! They come back from the dead more agile, more aggressive. . . just BETTER. Lots of people get infected in the lab, but one man escapes through a tunnel that leads to – you guessed it – a strip club. He winds up chewing on Jenna Jameson (oh, the humanity) who then dies. Then she comes back. She’s more agile, more aggressive. . . just better. This virus, this zombie-making WHATEVER has made a super-stripper! Naturally, the tips are getting raked in and the other girls get jealous, so they start asking her to bite THEM. What a great concept!

The film is brilliant! It’s great in the way that your first car – ugly POS with holes in the floor and a trunk that won’t stay shut – is great. It appeals to something childish and stupid and fun. There’s lots of gore, bare flesh, campy humor, lousy acting and terrible writing. It’s magnificent. This is one of those rare occasions on which the creators realized that we watch for the IDEA sometimes, and great filmmaking would just obscure that. Sometimes, you just have to enjoy the idea and let details roll off your back.

Plus, this is the only movie I’ve ever encountered that deliberately quoted UHF.

“Badgers? BADGERS?! We don’t NEED no stinking badgers!” -Paco

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