Movie Reviews, Reviews »

[23 Jul 2010 by Baldy | 2 Comments | ]
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (yay sparkly vampires!)

If you want a romance with action, get the Princess Bride or Stardust. If you want werewolves versus vampires, get one of the Underworld films. If you want to see a dead Robert Pattinson, see Harry Potter. On the other hand, if you want a childishly-done cinematic farce that plays to the basest of teenaged girl emotions without one iota of real storytelling to back it up. . .

Top Tens »

[2 Jul 2010 by Phantom Troublemaker | 2 Comments | ]
Top <strike>Ten</strike> <i>Thirteen</i> Movies To Enjoy on Independence Day

These aren’t necessarily movies about patriotism or America’s greatness, they’re just movies that I think are specifically appropriate to this weekend. Movies that, while you’re watching them, will inspire you to say, “America… fuck, yeah!”…

Movie Reviews »

[16 Jun 2010 by Baldy | 3 Comments | ]
The A-Team

Today we are inundated with remakes, sequels and attempts to draw on the creative efforts of previous generations. To make a film out of something as iconic as the A-Team could just as soon bite you on the ass as endear you to fans…

Articles »

[9 Jun 2010 by Baldy | 6 Comments | ]
Just Bitching About Movies

I just wanted to take a couple of minutes to rant. It’s not about Schumacher or Bay or Seth Rogen’s overexposure or anything like that. It’s just generally griping about what’s happening these days in movies. It’s not plots. It’s just generic junk about movies…

Top Tens »

[11 May 2010 by Phantom Troublemaker | 4 Comments | ]
The Top Ten Junk Shots in Cinema History

Is this gay? Maybe a little, but somehow TB and I stumbled across the concept during a phone conversation about Skype. It seemed really funny at the time, and what with the king of dick jokes being kicked off a plane for his unseemly girth I thought it a timely topic. Okay, maybe that’s a stretch. Regardless, here’s your penises…

Reviews »

[23 Apr 2010 by Phantom Troublemaker | No Comment | ]
TV Review: Doctor Who – The Eleventh Hour

Thanks to the fact that David Tennant was kind enough to end his run as everybody’s favorite Time Lord with a series of awesome episodes that were ultimately pretty big downers, I was way more excited for this new Doctor than I would have expected. As great as Tennant’s final telemovies are, they were kind of exhausting to watch, what with the pall of his imminent departure hanging over them…

Reviews »

[19 Apr 2010 by Keeferman | No Comment | ]
Kick-Ass (2010)

If you can’t already tell from all the extra preview minutes of the many trailers (And if you haven’t seen ’em, don’t SPOILER it for yourself), this movie really belongs to Hit-Girl. Whereas Nick Cage comes off a little cheesy (I admit: appropriately so), and the titular hero spends as much time getting kicked as he does any kicking himself, the supposedly-junior superhero is the one who ends up getting all your attention…

Top Tens »

[15 Apr 2010 by Phantom Troublemaker | No Comment | ]
Doctor Who’s Greatest Hits

I was going to write a history of Doctor Who, but Wikipedia has a done a perfectly good job of that already. After abandoning that idea, I started a piece about why I loved the show so much. I got a couple of paragraphs in and realized my posts throughout the week would pretty much cover that.

So today I bring you, The Retarded, a list of the ten very best episodes of Doctor Who; with a special treat at the end for those who make it. It ain’t Jelly Babies, but it’s something.

Reviews »

[12 Apr 2010 by Baldy | 2 Comments | ]
The Legend of 1900 (1998)

I know that I normally talk about zombies and other geeky goodness. I watch other films, though, and occasionally (as with Malèna) I find one so remarkable that I’m compelled to share it. The multiple aspects of the film – story, direction, cinematography, cast, music – all combined to make something that was truly special.

Top Tens »

[2 Apr 2010 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]
The Top 10 Biggest Disco Cash-ins by Rock Musicians

If you’re not aware of it, by 1979, there was so much disco on pop radio that you could probably count the number of non-disco songs on one hand that hit the number one spot. And during those formative years for the disco genre, many established musicians decided to cash in with disco tunes of their own…

Reviews »

[31 Mar 2010 by Baldy | No Comment | ]
Evil (Το Κακό) (2005)

The director loves zombie films. It’s obvious. It’s like when Eli Roth did Cabin Fever – you could see the love and the homage paid to those who had gone before him. This guy LOVES the undead and he LOVES the gore and he LOVES being able to make money by showing you his story.

Top Tens »

[27 Mar 2010 by Gnoll | 2 Comments | ]
The Best and Worst Celebrity Guests in WrestleMania History

Celebrities have been a tradition for a quarter of a century at WrestleMania. Sometimes the results of the celebrity appearance turn out a little better than others. Here’s a list of the best and worst WrestleMania celebrities…

Podcasts »

[26 Mar 2010 by Gnoll | One Comment | ]
Dork Droppings Podcast Special Edition!

It’s a special ALL-WRESTLEMANIA edition of the Dork Droppings Podcast! Gnoll and The Phantom Troublemaker run their mouths on the world of fake sports, touching on the following:

A recap of this past week’s Monday Night Raw.
A rundown of this weekend’s WrestleMania.
Predictions, praise, and gripes.
An exciting visit from a special guest!
Easter Egg outtakes!

Plus, we bring back the Haiku Corner, present a tribute to our favorite dead head-butting schizophrenic performance artist, and bring back the 90 second nutshell! It’s 82 minutes of aural ecstasy!
Music Credits: “Ochre Haze” performed by Cinetrope, …

Articles »

[25 Mar 2010 by Phantom Troublemaker | One Comment | ]
A Brief History of Wrestling Toys

’ve been collecting toys pretty much since I was a kid. It all started with Star Wars, then a bit of He-Man. GI Joe will always be the big toy love of my life. When Joe waned in the 90’s, I got into Ninja Turtles and then the Batman: The Animated Series stuff. Things have just sort of snowballed since then, what with the collector boom in the mid-90s

Top Tens »

[23 Mar 2010 by Phantom Troublemaker | 6 Comments | ]
Top Ten Movies Featuring Wrestlers

You’ll notice this isn’t “Top Ten Movies Starring Wrestlers”. If it was, the list would be a bunch of Rock movies and They Live. Flicks with wrestlers above the title don’t tend to be all that great – No Holds Barred, anybody? No? How about Sting’s movie? Did anybody even see that one…

Articles »

[22 Mar 2010 by Gnoll | 3 Comments | ]
Everything I Need to Know in Life I Learned from Professional Wrestling

In order to prepare for WrestleMania 26, We’ll be doing some stuff this week that relates to that guiltiest of pleasures: the “sport” of professional wrestling. And while I’ve made some vague attempts to justify my being a fan of this art form for a quarter century now, I thought that it might help my cause if I demonstrated some of the actual bits of knowledge I managed to obtain as a wrestling fan…

Movie Reviews »

[19 Mar 2010 by Baldy | 2 Comments | ]
Zombieland (2009)

Short version? Great movie. Tired plot. Excellent storytelling. Awesome soundtrack. Cool effects. Twinkie love and Bill Murray. Atlanta natives join the ranks of the undead. Sweet…

Movie Reviews, Reviews »

[17 Mar 2010 by Phantom Troublemaker | No Comment | ]
Thirst (2009)

Dear foreign people,

Stop making boring fucking movies.


Phantom Troublemaker…

Miscellany, Podcasts »

[15 Mar 2010 by Gnoll | One Comment | ]
For the Retarded Podcast, Episode VIII

The Dork Droppings is back after a few weeks worth of hiatus. Gnoll and TB are back to discuss a wide variety of topics. Among the things we speak on:

Family Guy, Sarah Palin, & the Retarded.
Miley Cyrus’s little sister’s lingerie line.
Toddlers & Tiaras, the worst phenomenon in entertainment history.
Zombie Strippers.
Zombie Retards.
Zombie Cyborgs.
Nazis on the Moon.
Fantasy Entertainment.
Easter Egg outtakes!

Plus, we bring back the Haiku Corner, and a bit of monkey news! It’s 42 minutes of aural ecstasy!
Music Credits: “Ochre Haze” and “Malicious” performed by Cinetrope, from the album “This Strange …

Movie Reviews, Reviews »

[12 Mar 2010 by Phantom Troublemaker | 2 Comments | ]
The Final Destination (2009)

I don’t hate the franchise that produced this movie. The original Final Destination was a fun, original movie. I can’t say it’s one of my favorites, but I do own it and have definitely watched it more than once. I groaned along with everybody else when the second one was announced. Did this premise really need to be revisited? Yeah, it did. Final Destination 2 gave us one of the most memorable opening sequences since Saving Private Ryan. Think I’m exaggerating? Go watch it right now and then try driving down the interstate without becoming extremely nervous…