As you all may be aware, the early months of the year tend to be a dumping ground of sorts for the Hollywood studios. The most critically promising movies are naturally going to be saved for the end of the year, while the big dollar releases are aimed at the Summer and specific holidays.
In Woody Allen’s latest offering HOLLYWOOD ENDING, he portrays a director who is forced to shoot a movie through a spell of blindness. It’s kind of funny, because as this movie went on, I kind of felt that Allen had some sort of handicap going into it…
We’ve all seen COMING TO AMERICA, right? I’m sure you’ve thought about how funny all the scenes in the Barbershop from that film were and wondered what it would be like if they were spun off into a movie of their own. Well, I wonder if Mark Brown, who wrote the story for this film, also did the same…
I am also officially declaring 2002 as “The Year of Gere.” I have never been a fan of Richard Gere, but in 2002 he starred in two fantastic films (CHICAGO & UNFAITHFUL) and one pretty good one (THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES) and delivered incredible performances in all three. As a token of good will, I swear to never make another joke about his posterior in its relation to gerbils ever again. Bravo.
It’s a good thing that the studios hold off their big Oscar push movies for wide release, because January is generally the month reserved for the absolute rock-bottom movies of the year…
I see some bad movies. I mean, we all do, but in my quest to find material to write about I see more than the average person’s share of really bad ones…
The Chinese calendar says that 2003 is the year of the Ram, but the Hollywood calendar says it’s the year of the sequel.
Watching zombie movies while in a drunken state at 3 AM is generally accepted practice. But watching zombie movies with subtitles is not. Yet somehow a few of us found this to be a good idea over the past weekend. well, not exactly…
Do you Think They Still sell that white Halloween costume mask in Haddonfield? Just a thought…
You ever notice that Hollywood hates fat people? We are replete with the tried and true cliche of the overwieght character. Be they young, old, male, or female, chubs never fill up the screen with the heroic, helluva guy attributes.
I hate this movie. No, wait, I don’t mean it like that. I mean, this movie is absolutely brilliant and engaging and entertaining and quite possibly the best film of the year. But I hate it. I hate it for making me so goddamn curious as to what kind of twisted genius could come up with something like this…
Chicago is sexy. Catherine Zeta-Jones’ haircut is sexy. Renee Zellweger’s puckered pout is sexy. Richard Gere’s tap-dance, Queen Latifah’s swagger, the kid who sold me Milk Duds™, the guy who kicked the back of my seat, all dead sexy…
Peter Jackson is now the Bill Gates to Lucas’ Steve Jobs. Jackson took Lucas’ child and one upped him. I can not get over how beautiful Gollum looks. Compare that to Yoda, Jar Jar, or any other computer
generated attempt in Star Wars. No damn contest, buddy man
If there’s one thing Alexander Payne does well, it’s to make things real. Damn real. America ain’t always pretty. Hollywood often tries to pretend it is, but it really isn’t. On the other hand, America ain’t always ugly. Hollywood often tries to pretend it is, but it really isn’t. In truth, there’s a fine line where things are just kind of real…
You know, there’s been a lot of anticipation for Scorcese’s big historical drama here. This thing got delayed, put off, delayed again, and I was starting to think it was never gonna come out. Of course, it’s finally here…
It’s a good thing that I sometimes compromise on my beliefs. Basically, without getting into it much, I kinda have a thing where I’m supposed to be protesting the films of Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg. Of course, that didn’t stop me from seeing Spielberg’s last four features theatrically, but I’m really not supposed to…
Holy. Shit. That’s really it in a nutshell, folks. After seeing FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING a year ago, I was, like many others, just absolutely dying to get to the next installment as soon as possible…
The original tagline to the film that winds up atop our Retarded Christmas Top Ten is “A Tribute to the Original, Traditional, One-Hundred-Percent, Red-Blooded, Two-Fisted, All-American Christmas”…
Most people, when recalling Christmas movies, tend to rattle off IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE as the one that immediately springs to mind. Not that there’s any problem with that…
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