CHAD’S FUCK THE OSCARS
VOLUME VIII

The Cinematic Highlights of 2002
by and according to
Chad J. Shonk

First off, I would like to apologize to a particular film for not seeing it last year when it was released. If I had seen it in time, it would have undoubtedly been in the top three films on my list. So, before you go do anything else, go watch:

THE DEVIL’S BACKBONE by Guillermo Del Toro.

Also, DONNIE DARKO (Richard Kelly) came out last year. It’s not for everyone, but I think it’s a very well done first feature that makes me excited for Kelly’s future projects.

You should also watch GEORGE WASHINGTON by David Gordon Green. It’s two years old now, but I just saw it. A beautiful little film.

I am also officially declaring 2002 as “The Year of Gere.” I have never been a fan of Richard Gere, but in 2002 he starred in two fantastic films (CHICAGO & UNFAITHFUL) and one pretty good one (THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES) and delivered incredible performances in all three. As a token of good will, I swear to never make another joke about his posterior in its relation to gerbils ever again. Bravo.

In a new feature, I’d like to announce FTO’s first annual Man of the Year. This year, the distinction goes to Mr. Charlie Kaufman, the freshest and most exciting screenwriter working today. And prolific. HUMAN NATURE was a disappointment, but the script was fantastic. Both ADAPTATION and CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND were wonderful films by two talented directors. No one in the film world makes me more jealous than Charlie Kaufman (well, except for maybe whoever is dating Katie Holmes).

One more note. There has been some confusion out there amongst you, and I am here to set the record straight. From my close friends to Roger Ebert himself, there are scores of people that are lost, misguided, and bewildered. Let me clear something up for all of you:

MINORITY REPORT is not a good movie.
Let it be known. It is not a masterpiece, as Mr. Ebert has said, and it is not fun good timey entertainment like many of my friends believe. It is sloppy, insulting filmmaking posing as thought-provoking science fiction. This movie is stupid. It shows a clear lack of intelligence in the screenplay. The plot makes no sense and does NOT WORK.

Sit down. Grab a pencil and a pen and figure out the plot. It doesn’t work. And it is not a smart treatise, as Ebert states, about the premise of “innocent until proven guilty.” It is not a thoughtful reflection on the current threats to our civil liberties. IT IS A POORLY PLOTTED B-MOVIE WITH A MASTER OF MAGICAL MISDIRECTION BEHIND THE CAMERA. Speilberg is a gifted filmmaker so he is able to pull the wool over you eyes in making you believe this is a good film.
OF COURSE THE MOVIE IS WELL SHOT.

All his films are.
OF COURSE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN IS AMAZING.

He has unlimited millions at his disposal and a team of first rate professionals.

OF COURSE TOM CRUISE IS GOOD.
He’s a professional actor and one of the biggest stars in the world.
I, for one, believe that Speilberg gets no points for technical achievement. He can direct an action sequence in his sleep. I expect more from him and this shallow husk of a morality tale is not more. In fact, it is way way way less.
Sorry to burst some of your bubbles. Sorry to sound superior. But I will fight this until the day that I die. MINORITY REPORT is not a masterpiece. MINORITY REPORT is not an “intellectual thriller.” MINORITY REPORT is not even a good movie. Uncle Stevie has pulled a whole mess of wool over your eyes, people.
For more on this, E-mail me. I will rip this movie a new corn-chute for you if you request it.
Don’t believe the hype.
Don’t believe the Ebert.

This public service announcement has been brought to you by Film Geeks for Movies with Intelligence, Heart, and Originality. Thank you.

THE TWENTY BEST FILMS OF THE YEAR

Things are a little different this year. Normally, I never order the films. Never rank them 1-20. But this year there is one film that stands out above all others that I can unequivocally say is the best film of the year. So it is in a category all its own. All the others follow, with no particular ranking within each tier.

I.

CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)
DIRECTED BY FERNANDO MEIRELLES
It’s hard to describe this Brazilian tour de force without using too many superlative adjectives. Just do yourself a favor and see it if it comes to your town. If not, it will be on video eventually. It will be beaten for the Best Foreign Film Oscar by Pedro Almodovar’s TALK TO HER, but that will simply be out of habit for the Academy. This filmmaker shows more energy, talent, creativity, heart, and brains than any of the other men listed here, and that includes Scorsese, Lee, Haynes, Speilberg, Payne, Anderson, Jackson, and Jonze. Meirelles outclasses them all. They should all take a long hard look at this film to help them realize what is possible in the cinema. It certainly helped me.

II.
BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE (Michael Moore)
FAR FROM HEAVEN (Todd Haynes)
GANGS OF NEW YORK (Martin Scorsese)
CHICAGO (Rob Marshall)
CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND (George Clooney)

III.
ADAPTATION (Spike Jonze)
THE PIANIST (Roman Polanski)
25TH HOUR (Spike Lee)
ABOUT SCHMIDT (Alexander Payne)
UNFAITHFUL (Adrien Lyne)
PUNCHDRUNK LOVE (P.T. Anderson)
CATCH ME IF YOU CAN (Steven Speilberg)

IV.
ABOUT A BOY (Chris and Paul Weitz)
THE GOOD GIRL (Miguel Arteta)
NARC (Joe Carnahan)
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS (Peter Jackson)
STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES (George Lucas)
ROAD TO PERDITION (Sam Mendes)
CQ (Roman Coppola)
Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN (Alfonso Cuaron)

ALSO WORTH WATCHING: BLADE II (G. Del Toro), HOLLYWOOD ENDING (W. Allen), ARARAT (A. Egoyan), COMEDIAN (C. Charles), 8 MILE (C. Hanson), THE HOURS (S. Daldry), SIGNS (M. Night Shamalyn), UNDERCOVER BROTHER (M. Lee),RULES OF ATTRACTION (R. Avary), BARBERSHOP (T. Story), PANIC ROOM (D. Fincher), CHANGING LANES (R. Donaldson), SPIDERMAN (S. Raimi), THE SUM OF ALL FEARS (P. Aldinson), REIGN OF FIRE (R. Bowman), RED DRAGON (B. Ratner), MOONLIGHT MILE (B. Silberling), THE BOURNE IDENTITY (D. Liman), BLUE CRUSH (J. Stockwell), K19: THE WIDOWMAKER (K. Bigelow)

FILMS I ADMITTEDLY DIDN’T SEE THAT COULD AFFECT THIS LIST

THE QUIET AMERICAN (P. Noyce)
RABBIT-PROOF FENCE (P. Noyce)
TALK TO HER (P. Almodovar)
ANTOINE FISCHER (D. Washington)

WORST FILMS OF THE YEAR (THAT I BOTHERED TO SEE)
MEN IN BLACK II
SHOWTIME
MR. DEEDS
THE RING
INSOMNIA

BEST ACTOR
Jack Nicholson, ABOUT SCHMIDT
Richard Gere, UNFAITHFUL
Leonardo DiCaprio, CATCH ME IF YOU CAN
Nicholas Cage, ADAPTATION
Daniel Day Lewis, GANGS OF NEW YORK
Sam Rockwell, CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND
Adrien Brody, THE PIANIST

BEST ACTRESS
Diane Lane, UNFAITHFUL
Emily Watson, PUNCHDRUNK LOVE
Salma Hayek, FRIDA
Renee Zellwegger, CHICAGO
Julianne Moore, FAR FROM HEAVEN
Jennifer Aniston, THE GOOD GIRL
Catherine Zeta-Jones, CHICAGO

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
John C. Reily, CHICAGO
Paul Newman, ROAD TO PERDITION
Dennis Haysbert, FAR FROM HEAVEN
Richard Gere, CHICAGO
Dennis Quaid, FAR FROM HEAVEN
Leandro Firmino da Hora, CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)
Chris Cooper, ADAPTATION

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Emily Watson, RED DRAGON
Queen Latifah, CHICAGO
Arsinee Khanjian, ARARAT
Patricia Clarkson, FAR FROM HEAVEN
Meryl Streep, ADAPTATION
Nicole Kidman, THE HOURS
Kathy Bates, ABOUT SCHMIDT

BEST COMPUTER GENERATED ACTOR
Gollum, LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS
Yoda, STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES
Dexter Jettser, STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES

BEST DIRECTOR
Todd Haynes, FAR FROM HEAVEN
Rob Marshall, CHICAGO
Roman Polanski, THE PIANIST
Martin Scorsese, GANGS OF NEW YORK
Fernando Meirelles, CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)
Spike Jonze, ADAPTATION
George Clooney, CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND

BEST SCORE
Elmer Bernstein, FAR FROM HEAVEN
Thomas Newman, ROAD TO PERDITION
John Williams, CATCH ME IF YOU CAN
Alex Wurman, CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND
Terrance Blanchard, 25TH HOUR
Ed Cortez & Antonio Pinto, CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Edward Lachman, FAR FROM HEAVEN
Conrad Hall, ROAD TO PERDITION
Newton Thomas Siegel, CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND
Michael Ballhaus, GANGS OF NEW YORK
Cesar Chalone, CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)

BEST EDITING
Martin Walsh, CHICAGO
Thelma Schoonmaker, GANGS OF NEW YORK
Barry Alexander Brown, 25TH HOUR
Daniel Rezende, CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Sandy Powell, FAR FROM HEAVEN
Albert Wolsky, ROAD TO PERDITION
Julie Weiss, FRIDA
Colleen Atwood, CHICAGO
Sandy Powell, GANGS OF NEW YORK

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
Mark Friedberg, FAR FROM HEAVEN
Dennis Gassner, ROAD TO PERDITION
Dante Ferretti, GANGS OF NEW YORK
John Myhre, CHICAGO
James Bissel, CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Todd Haynes, FAR FROM HEAVEN
Jay Cocks & Kenneth Longeran & Steve Zaillian, GANGS OF NEW YORK
P.T. Anderson, PUNCHDRUNK LOVE
Atom Egoyan, ARARAT
Mike White, THE GOOD GIRL

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Charlie Kaufman & (heh) Donald Kaufman, ADAPTATION
Charlie Kaufman, CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND
Alexander Payne, ABOUT SCHMIDT
David Benioff, 25TH HOUR
Braulio Montavini, CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)

SOUND DESIGN
Ben Burtt, STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES
Gary Rydstrom, PUNCHDRUNK LOVE
Scott Hecker, ROAD TO PERDITION

THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES AWARD
Stephen Soderbergh, for two MAJOR disappointments, FULL FRONTAL and SOLARIS.

THE ROAD TO REDEMPTION AWARD
Nicholas Cage for his two best performances since the Oscar, ADAPTATION

BEST GRATUITIOUS NUDITY
Salma Hayek, FRIDA
Amanda Peet, IGBY GOES DOWN
Diane Lane, UNFAITHFUL
Heather Graham, KILLING ME SOFTLY
Judy Greer, ADAPTATION

BEST SEX SCENES
Diane Lane and that French Guy in the hallway, UNFAITHFUL
Eminem and Britany Murphy amongst the RUMBLE of the factory, 8 MILE.
Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhall, THE GOOD GIRL

THE FIRST ANNUAL P.T. ANDERSON AWARD FOR WANTING TO BE JONATHON DEMME
Brett Ratner, RED DRAGON

THE TIGERLAND AWARD FOR A SHITTY DIRECTOR MAKING A GREAT FILM
Adrian Lyne, UNFAITHFUL

THE XEROX AWARD FOR CARBON COPY ROLES
John C. Reily for playing THREE sweet, all-American husbands who are completely oblivious of their wives’ discontent. CHICAGO. THE GOOD GIRL. THE HOURS.
…tied with
Julianne Moore for playing TWO perfect on the outside happy homemaker 1950’s wives who don’t love their husbands and are secretly living in their own personal hells. FAR FROM HEAVEN. THE HOURS.

ATTACK OF THE CRAPPY REMAKES PART I
INSOMNIA

ATTACK OF THE CRAPPY REMAKES PART II: ELECTRIC BUGALOO
THE RING

ATTACK OF THE CRAPPY REMAKES PART III: RISE OF THE MACHINES
SOLARIS

ATTACK OF THE CRAPPY REMAKES PART IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE
MR. DEEDS

ATTACK OF THE DAMN GOOD REMAKES
UNFAITHFUL

ATTACK OF THE MEDIOCRE REMAKES
RED DRAGON

ATTACK OF THE MEDIOCRE SEQUELS
AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER

ATTACK OF THE CRAPPY SEQUELS
MEN IN BLACK II

ATTACK OF THE SUPERIOR SEQUELS
STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES

ATTACK OF THE FAR SUPERIOR SEQUELS
BLADE II

IS IT A SEQUEL OR A PREQUEL? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS?
SUM OF ALL FEARS

THE FIRST ANNUAL SOFIA COPPOLA AWARD FOR IT RUNNING IN THE FAMILY
Roman Coppola, CQ

GUYS IT WAS GOOD TO SEE ON SCREEN THIS YEAR
Neil Patrick Harris, UNDERCOVER BROTHER
Ayre Gross, MINORITY REPORT
Rutger Hauer, CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND

FUNNIEST OF THE YEAR
CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND
ADAPTATION
BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE

SADDEST OF THE YEAR
THE GOOD GIRL
ARARAT
CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)

GUILTY PLEASURES
SPIDERMAN
REIGN OF FIRE
BLADE II
BLUE CRUSH
UNDERCOVER BROTHER

THE RAYMOND CHANDLER AWARD FOR MOST BIG ASS GAPING PLOTHOLES
MINORITY REPORT

THE BLAIR WITCH AWARD FOR ‘GOD, STOP TALKING ABOUT IT! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF CHIRST MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT IT! I’M BEGGING YOU! KILL ME! KILL ME NOW BEFORE I HEAR ABOUT IT ONE MORE FUCKING TIME!”
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING

THE BEST ‘ROCKY’ SINCE ‘RUDY’ AWARD GOES TO
8 MILE

BEST HERO (SUPER)
Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), SPIDERMAN

BEST HERO (JEDI)
Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), STAR WAR EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES

BEST HERO (NON SUPER, NON JEDI)
Aragorn (Viggo Mortenson), THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS

BEST HERO (NON SUPER, NON JEDI, NON FICTIONAL)
Michael Moore (Michael Moore), BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE

BEST HERO (NON HUMAN)
Yoda, STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES

BEST VILLIAN (JEDI OR WIZARD)
SAUROMON & COUNT DOOKU (Christopher Lee Rocks the House)

BEST VILLIAN (NON-JEDI NON-SUPER NON-WIZARD)
L’il Ze (Leandro Firmino da Hora), CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)

MOST OVERRATED
INSOMNIA

MOST OVERRATED PART TWO: ELECTRIC BUGALOO
THE RING

MOST OVERRATED STRIKES BACK
MINORITY REPORT

MOST OVERRATED IV: THE DREAM MASTER
THE HOURS

MOST UNDERRATED
ROAD TO PERDITION

MOST UNDERATED PART II: ELECTRIC BUGALOO
CQ

MOST UNDERRATED 3-D
STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENTS
MINORITY REPORT
SOLARIS
INSOMNIA

TITLE MOST LIKELY TO MAKE YOU FEEL GAY WHILE SAYING IT
THE DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD

BEST SECRET AGENT
Chuck Barris (Sam Rockwell), CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND

WORST SECRET AGENT
XXX (Vin Diesel), XXX

SAME OLD FUCKING MEDIOCRE SECRET AGENT
James Bond (Pierce Brosnan), DIE ANOTHER DAY

MOST LIKELY TO BE SEQUEL-IZED
SPIDERMAN

LEAST LIKELY TO BE SEQUEL-IZED
SOLARIS

BEST KISS
Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst, upside down in the rain, SPIDERMAN
Adam Sandler and Emily Watson, PUNCHDRUNK LOVE
Dennis Haysbert kisses Julianne Moore’s hand, FAR FROM HEAVEN

BEST FIGHT SCENE
Yoda vs. Count Dooku, STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES
Helm’s Deep, THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS
The Natives vs. The Dead Rabbits, GANGS OF NEW YORK

MOST ROMANTIC
PUNCHDRUNK LOVE
FAR FROM HEAVEN
SPIDERMAN

THE FIRST ANNUAL SPIKE LEE AWARD FOR BLOWING IT IN THE LAST ACT
NARC
SPIDERMAN
MINORITY REPORT

STUFF I DIDN’T BOTHER TO SEE BECAUSE I KNEW IT WOULD SUCK
THE HOT CHICK
JUWANNA MANN
ADAM SANDLER’S 8 CRAZY NIGHTS
THEY
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING
ANALYZE THAT
LIKE MIKE

BEST RAPPER
B. Rabbit / Eminem, 8 MILE

WORST RAPPER
Future / Mekhi Pfieffer, 8 MILE

THE 3RD ANNUAL WONG KAR-WAI AWARD FOR CINEMATIC AUDACITY
Fernando Meirelles, CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)

THE 1ST ANNUAL BLOOD SIMPLE AWARD FOR AN UNBELIEVABLE FIRST FEATURE
George Clooney, CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND
…tied with
Rob Marshall, CHICAGO

MY FAVORITE MOMENTS OF THE YEAR

– Edward Norton’s “Fuck New York” diatribe in 25TH HOUR.
– “That’s how much ‘fuck fish.'” ADAPTATION
– Two years in a row now, two films have had unbelievable tango dance sequences. Last year, it was the “Tango de Roxanne.” This year, the “Cell Block Tango.” CHICAGO.
– A Nazi executioner stops to reload his Luger. THE PIANIST.
– A gang of kids no older than 13 skip away from the camera, a familiar scene of youthful camaraderie and innocence. The only difference: they’re all strapped and they’re discussing making a list of all the people they’re going to kill. Kids doomed to never see 18. CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD).
– Bail Organa (Jimmy Smits) watches the Republic Army go off to battle. In that worried look in his eye lies the birth of the Rebel Alliance. STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES.
– Bill the Butcher (Daniel Day Lewis) sits bedside wrapped in an American flag. Watch as a great actor makes a monster into a human being. GANGS OF NEW YORK.
– In the cemetery, Peter Parker walks away from Mary Jane Watson. With great power, comes great responsibility. SPIDERMAN
– Adam Sandler’s mad dash to get a good-night kiss. PUNCHDRUNK LOVE.
– The opening chaos of NARC.
– “Happy Halloween.” “I’m not a Pagan, but thanks anyways.” – THE GOOD GIRL
– “Is it everything I imagined it would be?” Conspiracy Brother (Dave Chapelle) questions UNDERCOVER BROTHER (Eddie Griffin) on what it was like to sleep with a white girl.
– They make you wait for it the whole movie. Give you little tastes here and there, but never the real deal. Finally, when Rabbit (Eminem) takes the stage for the final battle of 8 MILE, the man’s charisma takes over and leads you on fifteen of the most entertaining minutes of the year.
– Chuck Barris’s rapid rise through the ranks at NBC, from tourist to tour guide to management, all in one great tracking shot. CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND.
– “It came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.” The only funny line in MEN IN BLACK II.
– Adrien Brody’s dedication to his can of watermelon. THE PIANIST.
– Yoda, exhausted from battle, uses the Force to pick up his cane. STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES.
– Gollem goes fishing. THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS.
– A chicken who performs his own stunts. CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)
– The two smartest people in BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE were Marilyn Manson and Matt Stone. Who’d have thunk it?
– Dennis Haysbert takes Julianne Moore to his favorite restaurant. FAR FROM HEAVEN.
– “Charlie Kaufman: fat, bald, ugly, paces around his room ranting into a tape recorder. He says: ‘Charlie Kaufman: fat, bald, ugly…'” The never-ending cycle of ADAPTATION.
– Warren Schmidt (Jack Nicholson) swallows what’s left of his pride and give a nice, plain, simple, completely dishonest toast at his daughter’s wedding. ABOUT SCHMIDT.
– Richard Gere meets the man who’s fucking his wife. UNFAITHFUL.
– “Let me hold your boob.” THE GOOD GIRL
– The opening animation for CATCH ME IF YOU CAN.
– Gandalf’s ride out of the sunrise. LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS.
– The dueling voice-overs in ABOUT A BOY.
– Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) confesses to mass murder. The Imperial March swells on the soundtrack. The birth of Vader. STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES.
– Laying in bed, holding her unborn child, Laura Brown (Julianne Moore) is engulfed with water straight out of Virginia Woolfe’s imagination. THE HOURS.
– The trolley crash in FRIDA.
– Norman Osborn (Willem Dafoe) talks to himself. SPIDERMAN.
– Gollem (Andy Serkis) talks to himself. LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS
– Diving board masturbation. Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN.
– The chilling combination of the Colmbine 911 calls and the surveillance footage of the actual attack. Probably the most sobering moment of the year. BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE.
– The massacre in the rain. ROAD TO PERDITION.
– Woody Allen’s bipolar dinner with Tea Leoni. HOLLYWOOD ENDING.
– Hearing Jerry Seinfeld say “fuck.” COMEDIAN.
– The joyful union of two split screens. RULES OF ATTRACTION.
– The trailer for KILL BILL. Can’t….fucking…wait….
– The survivors in REIGN OF FIRE put on a stage play of THE EMPIRE STIKES BACK.
– The first time Jason Bourne discovers that he’s a badass and how well Matt Damon handles that moment. THE BOURNE IDENTITY.
– Knockaround Ned takes the gun. CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)
– “We’re a little sad.” MOONLIGHT MILE
– The opening hilarity of GOLDMEMBER. Some of the biggest stars in the world just being silly. Problem is, it’s so funny, the rest of the movie is kinda bland in comparison.
– Igby (Kieran Culkin) pounds on the door of the woman he loves. That kid’s gonna be real good someday. Hell, he already is. IGBY GOES DOWN.
– “Dear Ndgugu.” ABOUT SCHMIDT
– Anna Paquin rides the dolly. 25TH HOUR.
– The opening action sequence in BLADE II. Holy shit.
– “Mom called it psychologically taut.” ADAPTATION
– Richard Gere tap dances!!! CHICAGO
– Rabbit and Future riff on “Sweet Home Alabama.” 8 MILE
– American History in three animated minutes. “Please don’t kill me Mr. Black Man!” BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE
– Benny shows up wearing his new clothes. CIDADE DE DEUS (CITY OF GOD)

THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO NEXT YEAR
– KILL BILL. Tarantino returns at last.
– THE LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING. TWO TOWERS let me down a little, but the third chapter could possible be the coolest fucking thing ever.
– MATRIX 2 and 3. Hope they can pull it off.
– 2046. New Wong Kar-Wai. ‘Nuff said.
– HERO. New Zhang Yimou. ‘Nuff said.
– INTOLERABLE CRUELTY. New Coen Brothers. ‘Nuff Said.
– BIG FISH. Rumors are this is going to be more ED WOOD Tim Burton than PLANET OF THE APES Time Burton. Thank Christ.
– JERSEY GIRL. I’m interested to see what Kevin Smith does for the first time without Jay and Silent Bob. And it’s going to be PG-13! Now, if he and Jason Lee can just get FLECTH up and running.

that’s all. you can go back to your lives now.

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