subscribe to rss Articles in the Movie Reviews Category
Movie Reviews »
You know what sucks? Every time I’m watching RETURN OF THE JEDI and really getting in to it when Luke jumps off the speeder bike and lays the smack down on that biker scout, those goddamn Ewoks have to come along and fuck everything up…
Movie Reviews »
The truth is boring. A couple of months ago, I remember some customer telling me that they liked FARGO because it was based on a true story. And I was like, yeah, that’s kind of cool that that’s a true story…
Movie Reviews »
Luc Besson’s pet project, the most expensive film in European history, THE FIFTH ELEMENT could have been a great movie. Yeah, I know, coulda woulda fuckin’ shoulda…
Movie Reviews »
Okay, it’s not a great movie. Okay, it’s actually shit. It ain’t CITIZEN KANE. It ain’t ANNIE HALL. It ain’t even THE GOONIES (see earlier articles on SUPERMAN and INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM or Noel Wood’s upcoming essay “Richard Donner is a Fucking Pussy”)…
Movie Reviews »
May we hope that somewhere in heaven, George Peppard is resting peaceably. After all, this is the guy who played Hannibal. No, not the cannibal and not the guy who crossed the Swiss Alps…
Movie Reviews »
The following is a transcript from a story meeting held by the producers of AIR FORCE ONE sometime in mid-1996. The names have been changed to protect the uninspired. Out of respect for the artform, everything else has remained the same…
