Heart of Dorkness: Star Wars Celebration IV, Day 1
So I am an un-abashed, un-repentant, un-something else, Star Wars geek. Everyone I know knows this. Everyone I’ve ever met probably knows this. It is something that is ingrained in the core of me, something that makes me me. And as much as that fact, at times, makes my wife cry like a widow, I have been this way my entire life.
Yes, I said wife. I am married. I do not live in my parents’ basement. I have had sex. More than once, with more than one girl. I have never dressed up as a Wookiee or a Mandalorian or a Jedi or a Stormtrooper or any Lord of the Sith. I did go as Luke Skywalker for Halloween once, in an orange vinyl X-wing flight suit, that I’m sure would have immolated and encased me in a toxic coffin if it had ever touched flame. But I was like ten. That doesn’t count as cos-play. So fuck you.
I did, however, wait a long time for tickets to go see The Phantom Menace. Got my picture in the paper and everything. I have read every Star Wars book or comic book ever produced. Ever. I play Star Wars video games and collect some of the toys. I do have an overwhelming desire to name my children, if I ever have them, Han and Chewie, or, if they’re twins, Luke and Leia. I won Dragon-con’s first ever Star Wars trivia contest, back in the mid-nineties, and completely DEMOLISHED the field. People still talk about it. I was awesome.
I am a fucking Star Wars geek.
Which brings me to this week, this year, and Star Wars Celebration IV.
For those who don’t know, Celebration IV (CIV for short) is a gigantic Star Wars convention that is being held at the Los Angeles Convention Center this weekend. It is the fourth such get together, but this one is special for two reasons. One, it is the 30th anniversary of the release of the original Star Wars, and the con will be in full swing on Friday, the exact day that the film turns 30. And two: I’m gonna be there.
I live in Agoura Hills, about 20 minutes NorthWest of L.A., up towards Ventura. I have never been to a Star Wars Celebration before, but when I found out it was going to be here, I couldn’t say no. I’ve been to three San Diego Comicons and about a half a dozen Atlanta Dragon-Cons, so the atmosphere is not foreign to me as I wade into this sea of geekdom. But this time, everything will be focused on my particular nerd drug of choice. Will I be able to take it? I’m betting yes.
The convention is officially 4 days long, Friday through Monday. But it will also be open Thursday for Fan Club members only, of which, I say un-apologetically, I am. (Again, I tell you. She weeps like a fucking widow.) Plus, Wednsday, today, they are having the first ever U.S. marathon of all six films back to back to back to I’m already too tired of typing to finish the joke. But yes, all six films in a row. Six films. Six days of celebration. I see a trend.
So I will be reporting on each day of the Celebration, one report, each day. I will include pictures and observations about this, the closest thing I will probably ever experience to a religious retreat. But I figure I’ll go one more. Each day, also, I will try to put into words my thought on each Star Wars film, in order. I have never reviewed any of the Star Wars films for this or any other site. It’s always been too personal to me. But I figure, what the fuck, six days of Celebration, six movies, might as well.
These will be my final thoughts on the Star Wars saga. I won’t be writing any more about them. I will attempt to give my honest thoughts, whether they be admiring or disappointing or gleeful or mournful. For someone who hasn’t written a ton on the site over the last few years, this is an ambitious thing to undertake, but do or do not, there is no try.
Told you. Total. Fucking. Geek.