So.  Spider-Man.

I won’t go into a rant about the great things and really crappy things in Spider-Man 3.  You’re probably sick of hearing about it.  I hear you.  Me too.

But some of the feedback on Sp3 has highlighted, for me, a blight on the Geek Kingdom, one I must address.

Harry Knowles, founder of AintItCoolNews, online film critic, who has subbed for Roger Ebert, who gets quoted on movie posters all the time, had this to say in his current review of the film:

“Why does Mary Jane come across as a beautiful naggy bummer to live with and date? BECAUSE Mary Jane is the WRONG girl for Peter Parker. She loves SPIDER-MAN, look at her. She’s just like that cunt Lois Lane, remember when Superman gave up his powers for that twit… what does Lois do, basically you can see her interest instantly wane. She’s a Superman groupie. She likes a flying fuck, and Mary Jane loves the upside down kiss. That’s all these women want, they certainly DON’T want Peter Parker.”

I’m not going to go into the immediate substance of his comment.  Yes, he is painfully wrong about the Mary Jane/Peter Parker love story, and the Lois/Clark story, for that matter, but that’s not the point.  It’s the language he uses, the tone he takes.

There is a very strong misogynistic streak in Geek-dom.  Harry, if you don’t know, is large overweight, 35 year old virgin film geek who lives in Austin Texas.  He is engaged to married soon, and it’s just in time, because almost every review he writes is infused with the backed-up ejaculate that must be clouding his brain.  There is no doubt by reading his reviews that he has severe sexual issues, most, I would guess, along the line of “none of them would touch my peepee so fuck them.”

But Harry’s not the only problem.  I have heard several guys describe of Mary Jane in the film as a ‘bitch’ or ‘shrill’ or a ‘cunt.’  That’s right.  The c-word.  I know many of the people writing this into the cyber-ether are fifteen year olds trying to be cool.  But does this total disrespect of women say something about our culture, about this current generation of kids, or are they simply just mad that they can’t get any action?

Let’s go into the things that make Mary Jane a ‘bitch’: (spoilers to follow)

1. She gets bad reviews for her play.
2. Whenever she tries to talk to her boyfriend about her problems, he changes the subject back around to himself.
3. She gets fired, in a very humiliating way, from said play.
4. She watches her boyfriend kiss another woman in front of an entire city. In fact, he ASKS the other woman to kiss him.
5. It turns out, he knew the other woman and didn’t bother to tell her about that.
6. She gets her life threatened and is blackmailed by a man who rides a green flying snowboard and drinks to comical degrees.
7. After breaking up with her boyfriend, he takes another woman to where Mary Jane works to shove it in her face.
8. What was the last one…let’s see…oh yeah…PETER FUCKING HITS HER.

There is also a strong streak of homophobia in the world of Sci-Fi/Comics/Movie geeks.  I think I know where that comes from.  They think all the time about how great it would be if a girl would just fucking touch their shoulder, and here are these gay dudes, just ignoring the girls that geeks so covet and hooking up with other dudes!  Fucking Fag!

Anyway.

As a geek, I cry foul and ask all others to look at Geek culture.  I ask you to not just call any woman a bitch because she wont’ sleep with you.  I ask you not to go see the latest Eli Roth torture porn extravaganza, that only exists for teenagers to watch hot young girls get torn to pieces.  I ask you to stop supporting Harry Knowles and his AintItCoolNews site as long as he keeps putting up shit like this.

I know, I know.  Who gives a fuck about Harry Knowles?  Well, Hollywood does.  They put his quotes on POSTERS.  The guy that wrote in a review that Blade 2 was better than eating pussy, he gets quoted on movie posters.  He is, deserved or not, a real critic now.

I, for one, am done listening to him.

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