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[14 Jan 2010 | 3 Comments | ]
Avatar (2009)

So by now, you’ve probably seen Avatar. If you haven’t, you know someone who has. Chances are, that person has told you either how blown away they were by the movie or how bad they thought it was. You probably haven’t heard from many people who said something along the lines of “yeah, it was okay”, because that’s just not the kind of movie this is. It will leave an impression on you, regardless of how apathetic you are…

Movie Reviews »

[4 Jan 2010 | No Comment | ]

Do zombies crave human flesh? What is the black market product that they keep in the fridge? What do they do at Live Dead that makes them prohibit all but a few living humans? Are they content just to continue being until they decay and disappear?…

Movie Reviews »

[29 Dec 2009 | No Comment | ]

Let’s get this out of the way: the Blair Witch strategy was on par with the first Jaws trailers. The idea was genius, and though at times slow, was a brilliant act of low budget horror filmmaking. Many folks may disagree with me and those folks can eat a bag of dicks. The living legend Ric Flair once said, “fool me once…shame on me”…

Movie Reviews »

[19 Dec 2009 | One Comment | ]

When Netflix suggested that I might enjoy this one, I thought “Shoot, even if it stank, I would get to look at Monica Bellucci.”…

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[30 Apr 2009 | No Comment | ]
G.I. Joe: Resolute

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[8 Mar 2009 | 2 Comments | ]

Well, the book(s) came out in 1986 and 1987. The movie has been in on-again, off-again production status for twenty one years. It’s been a long time coming. I remember wearing a Comedian smiley face pin back in junior high, people spraying “Who Watches The Watchmen?” graffiti in MARTA stations – kind of my generation’s version of “Frodo Lives!” How do you take the most acclaimed graphic novel of all time and make a movie of it…

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[2 Feb 2009 | Comments Off on I Am Legend | ]

My sixteen year old went to see I Am Legend last week and raved about it. Tonight, my brain hurt and I had time on my hands and a buddy from work offered to buy, so we took off for a little escapism.
First, though. . . PREVIEWS!
SEMI-PRO – Will Farrell has found his niche, and that niche is in the seventies. He’s playing the owner of a B-rate basketball team that might get absorbed by the NBA. It also has Woody Harrelson. It might be funny. …

Movie Reviews »

[12 Jan 2009 | No Comment | ]

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Summer sucks. That’s right. I said it. Not Summer Glau, the spunky actress of Firefly fame, but the actual season of Summer. It’s fucking hot. Especilly where I live, in the West San Fernando Valley, where we hit 3 digit temperatures for weeks at a time. The kids are out of school meaning that they’re, like, around a bunch when I go do stuff. There’s no new TV on. …

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[23 May 2008 | 10 Comments | ]
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

A mysterious artifact which has the power to change the world and seems to drive its bearer into madness and needs to be returned to its place of origin. Cate Blanchett appears in a supporting role. No hobbits appear this time around…

Movie Reviews »

[19 Jun 2007 | 9 Comments | ]

One thing that seems to be a common observation about the first Fantastic Four movie was that the previews looked cool, but the movie sucked ass. When trailers for the second installment started popping up, people all over the world talked about how cool it looked, but I knew that much like its predecessor, it was going to be a flaming pile of shit…