Movie Reviews »

[5 Oct 2004 by Gnoll | One Comment | ]

Following up on the success of the original TOXIC AVENGER, Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz moved on to an altogether new Troma tale, 1996’s CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH…

Movie Reviews »

[2 Oct 2004 by Gnoll | One Comment | ]

As you may have noticed, I have decided to dedicate Movie Criticism for the Retarded as a shrine to Troma films for this Halloween season. Halloween is my favorite time of the year, so why not spend this one covering some of my favorite movies…

Movie Reviews »

[27 Sep 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

I’ve finally seen my first NC-17 film in a movie theater, and it took me until I was almost thirty to do so. I almost feel like I’ve broken some sort of unspoken taboo, like I’ve gotten away with something naughty, despite the fact that I’m working on being twice the age limit on such a film…

Movie Reviews »

[15 Sep 2004 by JK | No Comment | ]

I’ve got a real soft spot for truly independent flicks. Where I would usually tear into a studio film with a bigger budget on the whole for every flaw, if it’s a true indie, I find I don’t mind so much. Watching an indie (regardless of the genre) is, in and of itself, a huge accomplishment…

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[15 Sep 2004 by Gnoll | One Comment | ]

Articles »

[30 Aug 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

Here, I will honor and exalt (and sometimes shit upon) those movies that were released in the months of June, July, and August: the real reason why movie studios exist. Sure, they might try and make you think that it’s all about those films that get limited released right at the end of the year, but we all know that it ain’t the Oscar that brings in the Benjamins.

Articles, Top Tens »

[12 Aug 2004 by Gnoll | 33 Comments | ]
Why the Star Wars Special Editions Suck

So George Lucas finally bit the bullet and decided to release the original STAR WARS trilogy on DVD. That’s fantastic, no? I mean, finally, after years of waiting, we can finally have digital, pristine, unfading copies of the original three movies that captured our hearts over twenty years ago. Everything is peachy and birds are singing and the world just became a better place, right?…

Movie Reviews »

[11 Aug 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

M. Night Shyalaman movies will forever be ruined for me. But I can blame nobody for this other than the man himself. Because, as I mentioned earlier in my VILLAGE review, people go to his films just to see the “twist”…

Movie Reviews »

[10 Aug 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

I come here today not to talk about HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE. Believe me, I could talk about the movie, and I probably will at least cover it a little bit during the course of this review, but this is more of a review of my moviewatching experience than anything else…

Movie Reviews »

[10 Aug 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

GARDEN STATE is one of those debut films that gets all the right press. Zach Braff’s little indie dramedy has been getting all of the appropriate buzz at film festivals and in all the independent film rags…

Movie Reviews »

[9 Aug 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

I told myself that there was no way in hell I was missing this one. Ever since I first had heard of an Alien / Predator crossover in the comics over a decade ago, I swore to myself that I would see a movie version if it were to ever come out. And so opening weekend, I wasn’t missing ALIEN VS. PREDATOR…

Movie Reviews »

[1 Aug 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

It was not my choice to see THE VILLAGE this weekend. Personally, I was far more excited about the comedy HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE (It was apparently a big weekend for East Indians in Hollywood,) but I was outvoted…

Movie Reviews »

[25 Jul 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

While watching SAVED!, I couldn’t help but be reminded of an incident from over a decade ago. I was a freshman in College, and was putting around the streets of downtown Atlanta in between classes. I ran into a girl I went to high school with, who had a friend in tow…

Movie Reviews »

[20 Jul 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

I didn’t like FAHRENHEIT 9/11. Now, I know that you’ve already got your hate e-mail composed and ready to go, prepared to call me a “neoconservative” or some other ridiculous term that you probably can’t define, but listen up for a second…

Movie Reviews »

[18 Jul 2004 by Gnoll | One Comment | ]

I’ve heard a lot of critics giving NAPOLEON DYNAMITE a hard time, but those people need to lighten up. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE is a good movie. It’s a good movie for many reasons, but the main reason why the film rules so much is because it takes place in Idaho…

Movie Reviews »

[14 Jul 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

I’ve decided something, after many years of dissention on the issue: It’s not that Will Ferrell isn’t funny, it’s that Will Ferrell wasn’t funny on Saturday Night Live. I’ve never really been a big fan of Will’s, as I’ve mentioned many times here before. But since his departure from Lorne Michaels’ long-unfunny sinking ship, Ferrell has been showing that he can can carry movies better than I would have ever suspected from watching his SNL days…

Movie Reviews »

[8 Jul 2004 by Baldy | No Comment | ]

I saw the movie on a Saturday night, and here I am doing a review in the wee hours of Thursday morning. Rough week. I’m sipping ouzo and listening to Dr. Demento. Screw summation. I’m going to relay what I was thinking, in the order that I thunk it…

Movie Reviews »

[1 Jul 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

I wish I wasn’t having to write this review. I mean, it’s going to be a pretty fun review to write, but I sure wish I didn’t have to write it. Because having to write this review means that I had to sit through THE STEPFORD WIVES, 93 of the most painful minutes I’ve had to endure in a movie theater in my life…

Top Tens »

[27 Jun 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

The American Film Institute just counted down their top 100 movie songs of all time. And while it seems rather convenient that the list was revealed just a few days before I posted this article, the connection of the two is purely coincidental. This is actually something I’ve had planned for a few weeks, but simply lacked the motivation to get off my ass and compile it.

Movie Reviews »

[21 Jun 2004 by Gnoll | No Comment | ]

The Joes and Cobras finally get their chance to duke it out on the big screen, and it doesn’t happen in a movie endorsed by Hasbro. Rather, it happens on a dodgeball court, in a little inside joke that it took me way too long to get…