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[13 Aug 2010 | 5 Comments | ]
The Expendables (2010)

Sylvester Stallone deserves another Oscar, this one for Making The Film That Needed To Be Made. Just as Kill Bill was made for we comic book geeks who like samurai films and westerns, The Expendables is the film for those of us who love action movies. It’s not perfect. It’s not revolutionary. It’s just that the idea of this film is exactly what our summer movie season needed…

Movie Reviews, Reviews »

[23 Jul 2010 | 2 Comments | ]
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (yay sparkly vampires!)

If you want a romance with action, get the Princess Bride or Stardust. If you want werewolves versus vampires, get one of the Underworld films. If you want to see a dead Robert Pattinson, see Harry Potter. On the other hand, if you want a childishly-done cinematic farce that plays to the basest of teenaged girl emotions without one iota of real storytelling to back it up. . .

Movie Reviews »

[16 Jun 2010 | 3 Comments | ]
The A-Team

Today we are inundated with remakes, sequels and attempts to draw on the creative efforts of previous generations. To make a film out of something as iconic as the A-Team could just as soon bite you on the ass as endear you to fans…

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[23 Apr 2010 | No Comment | ]
TV Review: Doctor Who – The Eleventh Hour

Thanks to the fact that David Tennant was kind enough to end his run as everybody’s favorite Time Lord with a series of awesome episodes that were ultimately pretty big downers, I was way more excited for this new Doctor than I would have expected. As great as Tennant’s final telemovies are, they were kind of exhausting to watch, what with the pall of his imminent departure hanging over them…

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[19 Apr 2010 | No Comment | ]
Kick-Ass (2010)

If you can’t already tell from all the extra preview minutes of the many trailers (And if you haven’t seen ’em, don’t SPOILER it for yourself), this movie really belongs to Hit-Girl. Whereas Nick Cage comes off a little cheesy (I admit: appropriately so), and the titular hero spends as much time getting kicked as he does any kicking himself, the supposedly-junior superhero is the one who ends up getting all your attention…

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[12 Apr 2010 | 2 Comments | ]
The Legend of 1900 (1998)

I know that I normally talk about zombies and other geeky goodness. I watch other films, though, and occasionally (as with Malèna) I find one so remarkable that I’m compelled to share it. The multiple aspects of the film – story, direction, cinematography, cast, music – all combined to make something that was truly special.

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[31 Mar 2010 | No Comment | ]
Evil (Το Κακό) (2005)

The director loves zombie films. It’s obvious. It’s like when Eli Roth did Cabin Fever – you could see the love and the homage paid to those who had gone before him. This guy LOVES the undead and he LOVES the gore and he LOVES being able to make money by showing you his story.

Movie Reviews »

[19 Mar 2010 | 2 Comments | ]
Zombieland (2009)

Short version? Great movie. Tired plot. Excellent storytelling. Awesome soundtrack. Cool effects. Twinkie love and Bill Murray. Atlanta natives join the ranks of the undead. Sweet…

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[17 Mar 2010 | No Comment | ]
Thirst (2009)

Dear foreign people,

Stop making boring fucking movies.

Sincerely,

Phantom Troublemaker…

Movie Reviews, Reviews »

[12 Mar 2010 | 2 Comments | ]
The Final Destination (2009)

I don’t hate the franchise that produced this movie. The original Final Destination was a fun, original movie. I can’t say it’s one of my favorites, but I do own it and have definitely watched it more than once. I groaned along with everybody else when the second one was announced. Did this premise really need to be revisited? Yeah, it did. Final Destination 2 gave us one of the most memorable opening sequences since Saving Private Ryan. Think I’m exaggerating? Go watch it right now and then try driving down the interstate without becoming extremely nervous…