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A Tale of Many Steves
A Poem by Noel Wood

There are many Steves
In Hollywood
Some of them are bad
Some of them are Good
But a lot of Steves
Are better than none
So let's list them off
One by one

Steve Martin starred
In Parenthood
Three Amigos and
The Jerk were good
But he made some mistakes
Like that one Mixed Nuts
But he hosted the Oscars
And that takes guts

Diner proved what
Steve Guttenberg's got
Played Cadet Mahoney
Starred with a robot
Now all he does is
Stupid family films
With dogs riding dolphins
And the Olsen Twins

Some people haven't heard
Of Steve Zahn
From That Thing You Do
And Saving Silverman
Worked with Soderberg
In Out of Sight
Safe Men and Happy Texas
Were just all right.

Steve McQueen was tough
He never took no shit,
Played The Cincy Kid
And Frank Bullitt
Starred with Dustin Hoffman
In Papillon
Lung cancer got him
And soon he was gone.

Steve Buscemi is sort of
A cult hero
He was in Pulp Fiction
Dead Man and Fargo
He played in King of New York
And Rising Sun
And almost every film
Adam Sandler's done.

Let's give it up
For my man Steve Reeves
Made into an icon
By the MSTees.
He was dumb as nails
He couldn't act for shit
But for Hercules
He was a perfect fit.

There are many Steves
In Hollywood
Some of them are bad
Some of them are Good
But this wealth of Steves
Is good for everyone
So take your pick
Of your favorite one.


All Material Copyright 1998-2006 Movie Criticism for the Retarded.

For questions, comments, or the occasional stalking letter, send mail to Noel Wood. Please give proper credit when using any materials found within this site.

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