THE SHINING 1980, Dir. Stanley Kubrick 119 min. Rated R. Starring: Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Scatman Crothers, Danny Lloyd. Review by Bobby Jones

Fuck Stephen King.

Let me be the first to say that I don't give two shits about Stephen King, the books he writes, or the weird fans of his books. Stephen King sucks, his books suck, his fans are ignorant, and the majority of the movies based on his books suck. That sounds brash but it's not just my opinion, it's a fact. I'm all for individuality and people having their own opinions and all but fuck, the only problem Communism ever had was that America was filled with Capatalist pigs. But that's another story. The point is that we as a people have to draw the line somewhere. And Stephen King is on the other side of that line.

THE SHINING was not a huge Hollywood Blockbuster, it wasn't a huge step in filmmaking, and it didn't win any Oscars. But you know what? I don't give a shit. I like the movie. I know many other people that liked it. Stanley Kubrick must have liked it at least a little bit and many film scholars consider him the greatest filmmaker of all time. Who gives a fuck if it wasn't like the book? It was a damn good movie. It is by far one of the spookiest movies out there. The directing is great, the editing is great, the cinematography is great. The story is a bit muddled but not to the point where it's incomprehensible. All of the acting is top-notch except for Shelley Duvall who can't act for shit but looking at her ugly face the whole time makes the movie THAT MUCH SCARIER. She has got to be the ugliest motherfucker out there. Nicholson is amazing though. It really rubs my sally when some retard Stephen King fan gets all in my face because they think the T.V. MiniSeries was so much better because it was more like the book. First off that's the biggest load of horse shit I've ever heard and second you just can't compare the two. Kubrick made a good movie. Period. I could watch that movie all day. It's enthralling. The shot alone where the blood comes out of the elevator alone gives me a chubby. I could go on and on about all of the cool stuff in the movie but I won't. There's really no point. I haven't seen the "new" Shining yet but I will and when I do I'll write about how much it sucks. Stephen King can suck my dick.