Movie Criticism for the Retarded

Fan Mail? From some Flounder?

Okay, I never intended this part of the site to be a place to post the more amusing e-mails I receive in feedback to my site, but this one just was too good not to post. I guess I'll start from the beginning. Here's the e-mail I received:

From: Julie Morningstar
To: fortheretarded@mindspring.com
Subject: "Retarded" is okay? What about "Nigger?"
Date: Aug 19, 2005 11:56 AM

Since you have no problems using vulgar and foul
pejoratives, why don't you start a web site with the
work "nigger" in it?

Julie M
Stars of the X-Files TV Schedules
http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/x-tv/calendar?s=2&t=1093888728
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/x-tv/
__________________________________________________

Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

Nothing I haven't seen before. Well, at least most of it. This is, however, the first time someone has equated the name of my web site with a racial slur. Normally, I have a standard spiel that I copy and paste into a reply when I get this kind of mail. It uses parts of the disclaimer from the "About" portion of this site as well as some other basic information. But today, for some reason, I decide to toss the old e-mail address into Google to see if this person has bothered anyone else before. And, quite frankly, I was astonished at what I discovered.

You see, Ms. Morningstar, if in fact that is her real name...

you see...

she...

get this...

wait for it...

no, really...

she writes X-FILES EROTIC FAN FICTION.

...

I'm fucking serious. I mean it. I didn't think that such a thing ever had a reason to exist, much less draw enough interest to make it on to the web. But sure enough, there it is.

An excerpt, if you will:

Skinner asked, "What are you waiting for?"
"Hell if I know." Alex snapped.
Skinner chuckled then, a deep rumble that shot straight to Krycek's cock. "I'll open the door. Lock it up, will you, before you come upstairs."
And he did. Followed Skinner's directions to a "T", cursing himself as a fool the whole way. He found Skinner in his bedroom. Naked. Lying on his bed. Stroking his cock, staring at Alex through heavy lids. "You going to watch me? Or join me?"
He pulled off his clothes, then swatted at Skinner's hand. "I'll do that," he said.
And he did.
- From http://www.squidge.org/~xchick/julie/keepsakes.html

By the way, do not click the above link unless you have a strong stomach. And unless you're really brave, do not click the picture of Skinner in the bath.

I decided that this needed a special reply. The standard just would not suffice. So before taking my lunch break, I popped off the following response for the creatie Ms. Morningstar:

I was going to reply with my standard cut-and-paste job about why the term "retarded" is not offensive, and then add my own bit about how ridiculous it is for someone to equate that to using a racial slur that I can't even bring myself to speak or even type...

...but then I realized that it wasn't worth my time justifying myself to someone who writes EROTIC X-FILES FAN FICTION.
You sick, depraved freak.
But thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy the site! Sorry that there aren't enough stories about Agent Skinner's cock for your liking!
Noel Wood
Webmaster, Movie Criticism for the Retarded
http://www.fortheretarded.com

I did receive a reply, and am considering replying back to her, but I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's calling me out on anything. But I'm sure that eventually I'll compose myself enough to compose a reply.

- posted by Noel @ 2:14 PM