Still here. I swear.

I never thought that a court-ordered defensive driving class would be the source for a potential article on this site, but toward the end of the course I took on Saturday because of a rassafrassin' speeding ticket, I got to witness one of the greatest things ever filmed. Remember the Crash Dummies, Vince and Larry? No, not the Canadian band who did that "Mmm mmm" song, but the ones that rapped about buckling your safety belt? Well, this video starred them, and pitted them in all these scenarios where they tried to get people to learn about the dangers of driving without their seatbelts fastened. The best part about it? Their boss was played by the late Gordon Jump. Unfortunately, I can't find any info on this fine piece of film, but if I ever get a hold of a copy, I'll put up a review here.

While bored at work, I popped up some photoshop contest entries over at FARK. Here are a couple I submitted for a contest where the theme is "Video game heroes using their powers for evil".

And some additional ones I put up for the "movie marriages" thread a couple weeks ago, where I took a theme and ran with it.

- posted by Noel @ 9:34 AM

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EXCLUSIVE! Movie Criticism for the Retarded is the first to bring you EXCLUSIVE shots captured on the set of the new "Transformers" live action movie! Harry Knowles, eat your goddamn heart out!

CLICK HERE!
AND AGAIN HERE!

I'm really, really, really, really sorry.

- posted by Noel @ 2:40 PM

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Okay, I was bored at work today and came upon this thread on FARK involving "movie marriages", so I decided to play along. What you see here is the result of randomly choosing two movie posters and giving them a rather ugly shotgun wedding. Enjoy.

- posted by Noel @ 8:31 AM

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Yeah, I figure it's been a while since I updated this part of the website, and since there's no article today, I owe it to you to put something in here. Just you, though. Not him or her or them.

I've been working a lot on the backend of the site, getting some ideas for the Christmasization of the website that will soon be rearing its ugly head. I almost feel like I should go ahead and switch it over now, the way I've been bombarded by commercials related to Xmas and the way that the stores have gone all sorts of yuletide crazy. I swear, when I was a kid, Christmas didn't start until after Thanksgiving, now it starts creeping in before they can even get the pumpkins down. Anyway, I've got some articles in mind, including covering a DVD that my girlfriend bought for me because she rules as well as one of the best bad movies to ever be loosely based on the holiday season.

Also, if you hadn't noticed, I've been shaping up a lot of the graphics around here. It's amazing how long I went with a copy of PhotoShop 5 on my computer at home without ever learning to do much more than crop and resize pictures with it, considering the fact that within a week I've managed to become quite efficient with version 7. This is all quite convenient, considering I still plan to do a hard relaunch in January with an updated look to the site; however, the initial plan for that was to parody a particular corporate logo which (read the previous entry if you haven't already) I've decided to shelve.

I've decided that it's in my best interest to never leave home without my camera, and so hopefully I'll be able to recapture some of the images I beared witness to this past weekend for a future update. Anyway, until then, here's a few more of my handiwork with movie posters you may wish to peruse:

- posted by Noel @ 12:40 PM

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When the folks over at CafePress tell you not to use copyrighted images, they mean it.

I just got dinged by them for my Bl*ckB*st*r-based images on the merchandise page, so there's not a whole lot to choose from on the MCFTR store at the moment. I think you can still buy a trucking hat and a license plate, but that's about it. Oh well. I guess it was too good to last.

But what really sucks, and probably the reason why they nailed me in the first place, is the next set of merchandise that I was getting set to launch. I uploaded a couple of these images yesterday, and they also got pulled from CafePress pretty much right after I uploaded them, I guess people do monitor this stuff after all, although that didn't stop several people from receiving merchandise ordered from the store. So if you're one of the few that has one of the MCFTR official items, hang on to it, because it just might turn into a collector's item one day.

So what was the new campaign gonna look like? Well, in order to come up with some better graphics for my front page when I got rid of the Halloween update, I installed a copy of Photoshop 7 on my computer at work. Boredom overtook me, and I decided to start doing some photo manipulation. Now, I'm no Photoshop expert by any means, but give me enough time and I can figure out the basics. What resulted from my play time was a handful of doctored posters from classic cinema that I have disguised as propaganda for this here website. So here you go, the MCFTR Movie Poster Parade. Click the thumbnails for a full-sized image, but since these were originally intended to be printed on T-shirts, some of them are very large images.

That was good for a couple days' worth of entertainment. The Reservoir Dogs was the first one I did, which was probably a mistake because I created the letters more or less from scratch. That's why it's all out of alignment and looks like shit. The Forbidden Planet is one of my favorites, even though it was a very simple one to do. Rocky was simple and looks good. Trainspotting makes me laugh. The Full Monty one was a pain in the ass to get right, and it still has some ugly spots, but it turned out okay.

Anyway, I'd like to get these out on shirts or as mini-posters in the future, and since CafePress is out of the question, I'll likely have to find a new route. Stay tuned if you're interested, and I'll also be getting some more of these up in the near future.

- posted by Noel @ 12:14 PM

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It makes me sad to take down all of the festive Halloween decorations, but life goes on. Now we're headed straight for the year-end holidays of Christmas and New Years (and let's face it, nobody gives two shits about Thanksgiving anymore, so I'm not even going to trifle with any special theming for turkey day) so expect some new festive activities to occur soon.

I've been busy, busy, and more busy, so it's tough to say how much new material I will be able to get up in the next few weeks. It's gonna be even tougher when we hit the Christmas holidays and I start job #3 (I might as well be Jamaican, if those In Living Color skits taught me anything) but I do have some nice suprises in store for the X-mess theme this year. Oh, and I plan on doing a hard relaunch of the site around the first of the year, so keep checking back for a fresh new look.

I thought things were going to be even tougher when my main computer decided that it no longer had the will to live last week, but I've apparently resolved that issue. Thank goodness for the mountain of junker computers I've amassed as a result of my Yard Sale addiction, because the problem was relatively minor once I was able to do some experimenting. Turns out alls I needed to do was swap out the power supply, and I'm ready to rock and roll.

THE MATRIX: REVOLUTIONS comes out this week, and you know I'm looking forward to tearing it a new asshole, so hopefully I'll see and churn out a review of it in the next few days.

- posted by Noel @ 12:09 PM

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